The Melting Snow
by Kyae
Summary: Hotaru Sohma ran when she saw Yuki transform as a child, therefore, she is the only one who remembers the tragic event. Returning to Japan at last, she is detemined to find out if that memory was true, or a dream. But what if there was a darker secret?
1. Introduction: Life Before

**Okay, this is my second fanfic, and It is going to come in chapter installments, about the life of Hotaru Sohma, a girl who witnessed Yuki's transformation as a child, but whose knowledge on the curse was unknown to the "inside" Sohma's. Now she has returned to Japan, ten years later, and attends the same school as the other Sohmas. The first part of this intro (in italics) is a flashback.**

**I've never wrote anything like this before so please read and review, all criticisms will be taken into account, and I will defiantly write more if people want to read it :)**

**enjoy**

**P.S. This is just an introduction to the story, to say how everything kinda fits in. You will find out more in the other chapters... I hope!**

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'_The "inside" of the Sohma estate. A place full of secrets… of beauty, glory, and an intoxicating sense of mystery. My brother and I had never been there… but this new friend of his… Yuki… or something like that, had invited us to come in… and we went._

_Inside was exactly how I envisioned it… a world of glamour and intriguing visions of love…and hope… And yet I still wanted to leave that place… the "heaven" that my brother's friend lived in felt like a cage… a glittered cage with golden bars…_

_But I didn't care… Playing with all the other children... it made me happy…_

_Then it happened._

_One of my neighbours, Miu, crashed into someone, and there was a… a "poof" sound, and he vanished. That shy boy, Yuki, vanished and… there was a mouse in his place…_

_I couldn't help it… I just ran…_

…_never to see that lonely boy… or my old life again…'_

Until now.

When the Sohma family finally caught up with us, and took us back…

…back to that land that contained the glittered cage…

But they didn't realise… no one except me and my mother…

…That I had seen the secret, and remembered it still… which was _why_ we ran… to keep our memories alive, and real…

And they are, no matter what the "insiders" believe.

They don't realise that I know the secret; they believe they erased everyone's memories of the event… Miu's, Tamiko's, even my brother, Hayato, remembers nothing about that disastrous night… only me… and that boy isolated in his cage… lonely… so lonely… Yuki.

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_**In the next Chapter Hotaru will have her first day in school, and see what happened to all those friends and enemies she made while she was a child.**_

_**There will also be other "secrets" that are reveiled, especially to do with Hotaru's mother and that side of her family (the non-sohma's) in the upcoming chapters.**_

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**Whether I get reviews or not, I shall add the next instalment in the upcoming week, so please feel free to say if you want me to hurry up, or if you think my writing should be improved... alot! :)**

**Sorry this Chapter is so short, it really is just an introduction though to the main story.**


	2. Chapter 1: A new day

**Today is Hotaru's first day of School... again. The first section is from Hotaru's POV, and the second part from Yuki's POV.**

**Please Review if you think it good or bad.**

**Kaytii**

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That first day at school was a hard day for me.

I had never liked being the "new kid" at school, an occurrence that happened quite regularly due to my constant moving, and this time… it was worse, far worse.

Why? --- Because I was a "Sohma", and that name was a constant reminder of my heritage and all that this…_ my_ family had done.

"Excuse me, are you okay? You look a little lost…"

I turned around sharply to see him there, his serene face stirring the memories in my mind to life, his haunted eyes reflecting trauma and fear to the world.

Yuki Sohma.

What was _he_ doing here? I had been sure, at least, that I would have a reasonable life here, in a _mixed school_. But no, the Sohma's have to go and send me to a school that their "insiders" attend, instead of… Leaving. Me. Alone.

Still, that didn't stop the fact that he was talking to me, and I couldn't exactly ignore him… could I?

"Hmm…? Yeah… I'm fine, thanks…" I trailed off, not wanting to tell him anymore.

"Have I seen you before? ... No, sorry that's silly…"

I looked at the expression that briefly crossed his face, one of confusion, and of slight frustration, as he tried to remember where he had seen me before. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth on where we met last, due to the fact I wanted to keep all of my memories, and it was convenient if he couldn't remember… but still, I yearned to trust the boy who had so openly let others in, and trusted them… even if none of them remembered now…

"Well… I'm a Sohma too; you must have seen me around when I was younger since I've only just returned…" It destroyed me to see him believe the lie, even though I had little choice but to tell him it… but still, the way he believed it… he wasn't the same as how he had been before… his scars were deeper, and yet… healing… is that the right word?

I was about to walk away from the conversation when I heard a loud crash come from inside a classroom, where a blond girl and a boy with orange hair were fighting. Before I could say anything the violet-eyed boy had left, and was walking swiftly away without a word, almost as if he were embarrassed by the fight… as if he knew who they were… as if one of them was a Sohma…

Suddenly my thoughts were pushed aside, as the angry boy went storming out. I couldn't help it; I didn't move fast enough… and… He bumped into me…

…and I ran…

I didn't look behind to see what was happening, I didn't _want_ to see, for that would be dangerous, so although I heard his curses and the bang, the same as before… I didn't look.

As long as I didn't see, I was safe…

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"Hatori, what are _you_ doing here?"

"You missed yet _another_ appointment, Yuki; you really should come more often. I just came to make sure you were okay."

"Fine, but can we just hurry, Class starts soo—"

A loud 'poof' interrupted me, as the stupid cat started running past us.

"Kyo," The doctor spoke quietly as he grabbed the cat and led us into the empty room. "What was that all about? I thought you were getting more mature…"

"Shut up Hatori" The Cat yelled, "How the hell was I supposed to know that a girl was there?"

"Did she see you?"

"I DON'T KNOW"

"Shut up, stupid" I told Kyo, before leaving the room. "Hatori… there's a problem…"

"What Yuki?" The Doctor snapped as he left the room before seeing the problem

There was a girl out there in the School, unknown to us, who may or may not know the secret.

And she was gone.

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**Thankyou again for reading. :)**


	3. Chapter 2: Inside

**Please enjoy**

**Kaytii**

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"Back so soon, Hotaru? Don't you like your new school after all?"

"Leave me alone Hayato."

I'd had a bad enough day without my annoying brother and his friends throwing abuse at me. It was almost as if they'd _forgotten_ how to be nice since I'd been gone, as well as about him.

"Aaaw, come on Hotaru, you used to be fun before you left, come on, let's sneak and have a look at the "inside" together."

Déjà vú.

I couldn't go there, no one would recognise me from that incident years ago, but it was wrong… forbidden without Akito-san's, or an "insider's" permission. I was just a child last time, and I could make excuses… no one would have blamed me… But now, I couldn't, especially if Yuki, or the other boy… or that man with Yuki saw me. Surely they must suspect someone saw that boy change… and I did speak to Yuki there less than a minute before it happened, in that very place…

…And I told him I was a Sohma…

… Who had just returned to the estate…

And I was the only one person, me, who fit that description…

Still… to go inside, even for a few minutes, to see the forbidden beauty of the estate and main house again… it would be worth it, for sure… no-one would see me, Hayato wouldn't let that happen, in fear of getting in trouble too…

"Hotaru? You're spacing out! Are you coming, or staying like the scaredy-cat you are?"

"Fine Hayato, I'll come, don't blame me if you get in trouble."

So we went. The "secret" entrance was about five minutes away, and on the way more and more "outsiders", mainly Hayato's friends joined us, all squeezing through the passageway one by one, leaving me the last to enter.

It was worth it. The stunning beauty of the place consumed me, drawing me in completely to the silent world of the Sohma's…

But something still wasn't right. Just like when I was a child, I could almost see the bars protecting… not, encaging the estate, and all who lived in it, growing thicker as they reached the centre… the main house.

"Come on Hotaru, you don't want to get lost!" I heard someone calling me, but I didn't answer, I barely heard them as I crept closer to that main building, to that second floor window, where I could see people talking, three people, Yuki, that man from the school… and Akito-san himself.

Why hadn't I realised before that they would have to tell him… As I watched the conversation progress, I saw the younger boy move around the head of the family, as voices rose, and fell. The way they moved around each other, it was like a dance, a never-ending song that had captured them. I could see by the way they moved that Akito-san was in charge, even if I had not known that before, but the way Yuki and the other man moved, it was almost as if their every move was around Akito-san, that they rotated around him… like the planets rotate around the sun…

If I had been more careful, I wouldn't have been seen, but at the moment I peeked out from my hiding place completely the man there looked out of the window briefly, looking straight at me. I couldn't help it – I just ran. For about a minute I ran flat out, staying in the shadows, but no matter where I went, I couldn't see Hayato or his friends anywhere. Typical, they must have gotten bored and decided to leave, not caring if I was lost… or found out.

And I was lost. I couldn't see the passageway, or the main house, or anything except houses after houses. Now I knew why I felt like this place was a cage. No matter where I went, there were houses with people in, to spy on me, and to see me, and keep me trapped in here, and the maze of the estate trapped out the outside world, keeping all in here in, and blocking out all outsiders, like me. Yet still I came in.

I couldn't help myself, I just started crying. I wouldn't be able to find my way out, and eventually my mother would get worried when she knew I was missing… and she'd fear the worst… and come in here… then they'd know for sure that I knew the secret, whatever it truly was… and I wouldn't know for long…

"What are you doing _here_ Miss Hotaru Sohma?"

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**Thank you all who have subscribed and reviewed, I hope this instalment was worth it.**

**The next chapter will be up soon**


	4. Chapter 3: The Curse

**I'm on chapter four now, I'm sorry that they're all seeming short, but on Microsoft word, all my chapters have been over a page, a well, I'll just have to keep lengthening them out.**

**Thanks all who are reading my work/**

**Kaytii**

**P.S. he first part of the chapter is not from Hotaru's POV, just so you know, I'm sure you'll figure out who's it is when you've read it. Akito is also described as a "he" in this, as the characters don't know her true gender.**

Akito wasn't happy.

We had managed for two years to not transform in public in the High school that the stupid cat and I went to, but suddenly that didn't matter to Akito, as he shrieked at me and Hatori. Thankfully, Kyo had bailed out, as it would have been a lot worse for all of us if he had started back-chatting Akito, but even still, the fury radiating from Akito was thunderous.

"Find the stupid girl and erase her memories Hatori. I don't want to hear that she is still unknown and with her memories intact next time I see either of you! It's just like you idiots to let her go around unknown!"

Only she wasn't unknown, at least not to me. I knew _exactly_ who had caused the transformation, and knew about it. One thing puzzles me though: why did she turn and walk away without looking at Kyo's form? It was almost as if she already knew what would happen when the bumped into each other…

"What are you looking at Hatori?"

Akito's piercing voice forced its way through my thoughts as I looked out of the window in the direction Hatori was. Just for a brief second I saw a figure running away into the shadows, a girl… that girl. The one who I had been talking to mere seconds before the cat ran out of the homeroom and crashed into her…

If anyone else realised she was the one who knew… I can only dread to think of the scandal.

"Stop standing there in your own stupid world rat, go and find out who that "Outsider" is. No one should be in the main house at the moment. Hatori, _find out who that girl is_. I want her memories suppressed _immediately_."

"Yes Akito-sama"

I watched silently as Hatori left the room, and then as Akito stormed out, before leaving the room myself. Why was a classmate, even another Sohma, sneaking around the "inside"? No one on the "outside" could know the secret, they wouldn't remember it… but if she did see…

I knew one thing for certain.

Someone would find her.

And unless I was that person, she wouldn't be safe.

I stood there, in the gardens for a few minutes, thinking about where she could be. I remember when I was younger, and tried to run from the Sohma's. I knew I would never get far, and yet still I would run, around and around until I found myself lost…

And even though I would rarely actually get out of the "inside" compound, I would still try. But there was always one place I would go, one place I would be drawn to as I ran away from Akito, that room, and the danger that stalked my shadow everywhere I went. There was a little garden at the far end of the compound, a sanctuary very much like my own garden where I would stay, and hide, and wait until the people from the main house came to get me and bring me to Akito. Even though it was known that I would come here more often than not, I still went. In that Garden I felt almost… free. It was quiet, but not threateningly so, like at the main house, and in that room. It was peaceful, tranquil and I enjoyed it. There used to be a woman who would look after this particular garden, and when it was cold she used to bring out a blanket for me, and just sit with me while I cried, before summoning the maids, as she had been ordered to…

Her whole persona was warm, but although she cared for me, it was only on orders, so I would stay "inside"…

…and "inside" I stayed…

Still, I knew the girl would get there eventually; everyone was always drawn there eventually, through free will or something different, the place was like a river, running over your troubles and trickling them away.

I found her huddled up in a corner a just outside the gate, crying, and frozen. Seeing her like that reminded me… of when I was little… I couldn't stop myself from asking her…

… Why was she here…?

…why did she run…?

…and why did she turn away from that cat as he transformed, as if she already knew…?


	5. Chapter 4: Orders

**Yay, I'm on part five! I didn't really think I'd get this far when I began writing this, so thanks all who have read.**

**Enjoy/**

**Kaytii**

Hotaru Sohma

"Yuki-san?"

"So you know?"

"Hmm…? About what?"

I knew the only way to attempt to get out of this situation was to point-blank deny any accusation, and pretend that I wasn't there, wherever "there" may be.

"You saw Kyo outside the classroom, didn't you, he bumped into you, I may not have seen it happen, but I know you were around there. Didn't you see anything unusual?"

What could I do but lie? (Don't answer.)

"Unusual?"

"Then what are you doing at the main house, if you don't know?"

Thankfully, I could tell the truth for this question, even though it would, for certain, get me in trouble, especially with the main house.

_But why couldn't I stop crying in front of him? _It was so silly, and even though he didn't seem to mind, I still cursed to myself at my pitiful reactions.

"I… I snuck in with my brother, Hayato, and some of his friends. I… I just wanted to see the inside agai—for once." I almost put my hand to my mouth as I realised the mistake I made, and Yuki narrowed his eyes slightly, but I couldn't help myself. If he knew I'd been here before, so what? I couldn't help it now.

"Then where is Hayato now, Hotaru-san?"

"He… Well, I got… separated from him… I sort of… wandered off and found myself at the main house… I… was seen by that man with you… so… I… ran…" I smiled weakly at Yuki as I realised that was all I ever did. "I do that a lot…"

"Hmm… if you're lost, Hotaru-san, maybe I should show you back, I'm sure it would be easier than if you went on your own."

I looked into his eyes and saw recognition and empathy for my situation. I thought about how often he must have been in a similar position, lost in the cage that kept him in, permanently on a golden chain, even when he was at school. It must have been hell, and yet still he wanted to help. Truly he must be a good person, a _trustworthy_ person, someone I could tell about what happened, who would understand…

… But I was scared…

…and selfish…

… I wanted to keep my memories over the truth, and didn't care how many lies I told…

… Because I ran away when I was a child, my mother had to leave her comfortable, _safe_ life here and hide me, and even _that _didn't work.

So it was best if I stayed away from them, of course it was…

… So why did I feel drawn to them, and the secret…?

I looked up sharply as a figure jumped down from the roof and stood in front of Yuki-san, a boy with orange hair… the boy from school… the one I had bumped into…

_How had he found me?_

Yuki Sohma

She was hiding something, of that I was sure. Her conversation with me left a lot to think about, especially her complete denial of being there at the school, even though I had seen her…

And then there was her brother, Hayato Sohma. It had been a long time since I had seen him, played with him… been his friend. It seemed as if he had changed a lot now, and from what I had seen of him, he was completely different to how he had been then, but still… I missed being with them, as I had when I was little, playing with him and all my other friends and their families…

She walked next to me in silence after our brief conversation, and I couldn't bring myself to interrupt her musings, or my own, as we reached the main gate.

There couldn't be any doubt that it was Hotaru that saw that cat transform, after all, she was the only one there, but why was she so afraid of people finding out…?

However, she seemed unfazed by the actual transformation, even if she did run from that situation; she wouldn't have come _here_ if she were scared of the transformations, though how she could stand to see him… or any of us like that was beyond my understanding. How could a stranger act like that and not freak out, even Honda-san, who has always understood us, and has never betrayed our secret, or abandoned us, was shocked when she saw us transform for that first time in that room on her first day with us…

I felt that it wasn't fear of the transformation that sent her running, she didn't even look at Kyo enough to realise he wasn't there, and I doubt she could even tell what his animal was…

There was only one real explanation as to why she could walk away so calmly…

…but it was impossible…

…there was no way Akito would have allowed it…

…she must alrea--…

"Oi, rat-boy, what are you still doing here?"

"Is it any of your business, stupid cat, go back to your training, maybe then you could beat me, unlikely though!"

I glanced quickly to look at Hotaru, and saw her face grow white, in shock, and then realisation as she figured it all out.

I couldn't help it, I reached out to stop her crashing into him again, but it was too late…

…She fell over, with an orange cat leaping off her…

**Hope you enjoyed this, and if you didn't, then I'll try and make the chapters better.**

**Please rate and review**

**Kaytii/**


	6. Chapter 5: Déjá vú

**Okay, now everything is unfolding, and I hope you can see kind of what I'm aiming for. At the moment I am also beginning to write another fan-fiction, again for fruits basket, but different, so I hope that all who enjoyed "The Melting snow" will read "Outcast" as well. I should publish it in the next week or so…**

**Thanks**

**Kaytii/**

Hotaru Sohma

So it's all true.

There really is a secret in this… my family.

And now there is no way that I can deny knowing the secret…

It's all over.

I knew I should never have allowed mother to persuade me to come back here…

… And now it's too late…

"Hotaru-san…?"

"I'm sorry, Yuki, I'm really sorry. I can't help my instincts… I don't want my memories removed, like my brother's were, all those years ago… I'm sorry."

"Hotaru-san…"

I couldn't help myself. I knew If I stayed then I would have my memories surpassed: I had heard too much of the gossip in my weeks here to believe anything different. The picture of the head of the family which had been painted to me had placed fear into me, and pity, and sadness. But I knew what I felt didn't matter, it would still be done.

So I ran.

I ran out of the main house and carried on….

…and on…

…And on…

I felt terrible for running away… again. I knew it would be easier if I just went and hoped they didn't find the earlier events, but I was too stubborn, and I was a coward. Even though I knew I would be found, and brought back, and have my memories suppressed, I still wanted to try and be free… to have that small chance of freedom whatever the cost…

… It made me sound like a monster…

It didn't change anything though. I knew, for certain that I would take any opportunity to keep my memories… not because I wanted to truly know their secret; I was selfish like that, but to rebel. I couldn't stand all the perfect structure that the Sohma's lived in, and if there was any way at all to be away from that, and be free from this family, and keep my memories; I'd take it.

As I reached my house I looked around frantically before slipping in, and rushing to pack. My mother wasn't back yet, and hopefully them at the main house would realise she had nothing to do with my disappearance.

If not…

No. I couldn't think like that.

I was doing what was best… wasn't I?

And who was that...

_What is she doing here?_

Yuki Sohma

"Hotaru-san…?"

I couldn't stop her as she ran away. No, it wasn't that I physically couldn't. I just didn't want to I suppose. She looked so… frightened.

Because she knew what would happen to her.

Seeing her run away like that stirred a memory in me…

It was long ago, on that terrifying day when I lost my friends… I could remember seeing, as the smoke cleared to show me in my zodiac form, a pair of eyes. Not scared, or despising, but calm, and intrigued, just for a few seconds before the screaming started from the others. And that was the true reason why I had gone to Hatori that day, to ask… no beg him not to erase my friend's memories. I'd always thought that she had forgotten about me along with the rest of my "friends" had, but if It had been Hotaru… and she'd got herself out of the country before the Sohma's had checked to see who was there that day…

… Then she'd still remember that day…

… And me…

… And the curse…

"Yuki, Kyo, who was that girl?"

"W…What girl, Hatori?"

I was sounding like she had now, when she was denying seeing anything.

And it had been obvious then that she was hiding something.

"Don't treat me as if I'm stupid, Yuki. Kyo, who transformed you?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS! LEAVE ME ALONE! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! SHE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!"

"Yuki," I was forced to look into Hatori's cold eyes as he spoke to me, afraid of what would happen next, knowing it all too well… "Was that the girl who was at the school, and at the girl at the window? Tell the truth, Yuki."

I knew I couldn't lie, Akito would hear about it if I did, but for some reason I didn't want to tell the truth… why was I being so irrational…?

So I told him, and he ordered that simple command that we all knew would spoken.

"Bring her back to the estate so Akito can make his judgement."

**I hope you will carry on reading this fan-fic and the next one I am beginning to write, "Outcast", and check out the ones I have already written.**

**Kaytii**


	7. Chapter 6: Akito

**Yay, Part 7 is finally here. I'm sorry if the storyline is getting boring or anything, but I'm actually really enjoying writing this fan-fiction, but I am also starting to think of other ones I can write.**

**But I will stick with this one till the end.**

**I know how annoying it is to find a fan-fiction that you like, and then find that the writer hasn't finished it/ has given up on it.**

**Kaytii**

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**Hatori** Sohma

"So, have you found the girl already?"

I looked up steadily as Akito Sohma stood at the window looking down at the estate. He always made it impossible for people to read his emotions, mainly due to the fact they kept changing. He could change his emotions continuously in a single conversation, going from pleased to annoyed to violent and then back to calm. As his Doctor I received a lot more pain than necessary when he has a fever, but I was always weary, even more so, when Akito was calm.

It meant that he was thinking about what he should do in cold blood, rather than in a rage.

Yet still we do as he commands, and tell him when someone "outside" found out the secret, even when we individually don't want to say, which, no matter what Yuki and Kyo think, I don't. Since I had to suppress Kana's memories of our life together I have always hated going through my tedious duty to the Sohma's, and every time I did, it sucked me further and further into the darkness of despair, and I now understand what they must feel as I perform my duty coldly… like ice and winter, freezing away all their memories of surprise, anger… and love towards us.

"Yes Akito-sama, it turns out that the girl who saw the transformation and the one we saw in the estate were the same person. Yuki told me that she is also a Sohma, and so it will be easy to summon her, if that is what you wish."

"Ah, Yuki. What are his views on this sudden turn of events?"

I glanced briefly at Akito's cruel face as I quickly decided how much to say. I knew he would get most of the truth out of me, in the same way he did the rest of the zodiac, but I would try at least to protect him from Akito's anger, it was the least I can do.

"He is finding the girl at the moment, Akito-sama."

"_That was not my question._"

"He is concerned about the girl's well-being, but won't do anything drastic. He has only just met the girl, so he won't be too bothered, I should think"

"Then you don't know **my** Yuki, Hatori. If he has even considered disobeying the rules that were set at the beginning of time, then the girl must be of some importance to him, even if she has only just arrived back here."

I watched almost admiringly as Akito judged Yuki's behaviour and how he would react, so different from what I would have believed, yet so much more accurate.

"So what do you think he'll do, Akito-sama?"

"…I don't know… yet. All I know is that that girl is something important, to some part of him and his pitiful life. Keep your eyes--, _eye_ out for him Hatori, and make sure he doesn't wander off the perfect path to me."

"Yes Akito-sama."

I decided to take my leave then, so I didn't say anything I would later regret, however Akito stopped me as I reached the door.

"Hatori, what is the girl's name?"

That was not the question I had expected.

"Her name is Hotaru; Hotaru Sohma that is what Yuki told me, at least. If she is a Sohma, then she hasn't been here lon--"

Akito's impatient hand cut me off in the middle of my sentence.

"_Hotaru_?" Akito smirked and then started to giggle uncontrollably to himself, a gleam of malice and amusement lighting up his face and highlighting his cruel mouth and harsh eyes. "Oh, this is _perfect_. I doubt if even--… well, if that's the case, then I just have to meet Miss Hotaru before she forgets our existence, won't I? And poor Yuki, maybe I should remind him of those days… when the wolves came out to play... Leave now Hatori, and bring the girl here, _as soon as possible_."

"Yes Akito-sama."

And with that, I was dismissed, left to wonder how Akito knew this girl, and her significance in the events that were to come…

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**Thank you for reading, please review**


	8. Chapter 7: Another secret?

Yuki Sohma

As I ran in the dark, I felt despair wash over me. I had betrayed Hotaru to that same fate that all my childhood friends had been forced to endure, and I had to do something about it.

But what could _I_ do? There was no chance that I could go against Akito-sama's orders, when they came; I knew that already, but still… to abandon someone for the second time…

I knew I couldn't do that either.

But there was something else…

I felt drawn to her, and I couldn't understand why. There was something else in my memories; another time I had seen her, but just as I grasped at it, it slipped away. I knew she had meant something to be at some point, but what?

I needed to see her, to find out who she _really_ was, but I was… too scared to. I feared by finding her I would automatically betray her again, and yet I still found myself walking over to the newest occupied house in the Sohma residence – I couldn't help it.

"I shouldn't have come back, okay?"

I looked up sharply, for a second being back in that room… with Akito…

…what? Why did I think that…?

No one there would hurt me… They didn't even know that I was there… so how could they?

"Hotaru-san…" I looked up at her through the window helplessly, words lost as I tried to bring myself out of the void that had threatened to consume me…

"Excuse me, are you okay? You look a little lost…" Hotaru smirked as she spoke softly to me.

"Hmm…? Yeah… I'm fine, thanks…" I trailed off, realising those were the exact words that we spoke to each other at school, our first conversation in ten years… since that day.

"So… Yuki-san, what do you need?"

I watched her eyes as she spoke, they were warm, tired and… understanding.

Because she knew why I had come…

I had to change things; I couldn't leave her like this… no matter what.

"I… I wanted to explain… about… about… _before_… you see…"

I wanted to explain the whole curse, for her to fully accept the curse and to truly understand why this had happened, but she stopped me.

"Yuki-san, it's okay. Whatever happened doesn't matter now, can't you see…?" Her eyes were shadowed as she looked at me, keeping my gaze locked, and holding me there with her words. "It doesn't matter now. Whatever happened before, whether I understand it or not, it doesn't matter. Whatever you say won't change the facts, Yuki."

What was going on? Her eyes were… _understanding_, as if she knew her fate… but there was something else too… a fire in them. A dark fire that burned throughout her heart and soul, rebelling… like mine had been once…

"Either way, your Akito will want my memories erased, and either way… _I won't let him_. _It won't happen._"

In those words I saw a new part of Hotaru, a destructive side, one that knew exactly what was too happen, even if no one else did.

That side was gone a blink later.

"…Everything will still happen, who am I to change it?"

What was she talking about…?

And what was that shadow in the background…?

… That had just vanished…

"I… I'm _meant_ to bring you to… Hatori… he is speaking to Akito about… you."

"So… soon Akito will know as well…"

"I'm sorry Hotaru-san, but what are you talking about?"

"Oh…" She suddenly snapped out of her thought process as she realised that she was acting weird, glancing behind her into the shadows before looking back at me, calmly.

"Is anyone there, Hotaru-san…?"

"What?" I could have sworn her eyes flickered back to the shadows for a second before coming back to my eyes. "Of course not…"

What was she playing at; it was almost as if she was a completely different person…

"I'm coming up, okay?"

"I'll be waiting." She smiled demurely as she moved away from the window and left my view.

"Yuki, is she in there?"

I turned around sharply to see Hatori coming up the drive, his car door open slightly, easily accessed. I glanced back up to the window, but she had gone completely from sight.

Had she seen Hatori come, and run?

No, she wouldn't have noticed him; she was too busy, looking behind her…

I closed my eyes as I answered him quietly.

"I… think she is… but, I don't think she's alone. Let's not make a scene, Hatori, we can wait, can't we? An hour? Two? A day?"

"I'm sorry Yuki, but we must get her to Akito now. It seems as if the zodiac curse isn't the only secret around here."

"What? Who told you that? There aren't any other secret, other than the usual ones… are there?"

"Yuki, what has Hotaru been acting like recently… strange…? Upset…? _Calm_…? _Accepting_…?"

I thought back to the conversation I had just had with her…

[_"Everything will still happen, who am I to change it?"_]

She had smiled to herself then, as if she knew what was happening, as if she was going to cause it to happen…

Even if she didn't see Hatori coming, that doesn't mean she might not have still ran…

"Yuki?"

"She…"

I didn't know how to say anything, but I suddenly had a bad feeling about what was going to happen, what was going to happen to her when I heard a howl… the howl of a wolf…

I couldn't help it; I started running, into her house, up the stairs and into her room, Hatori mere steps behind me… both of us thinking the exact same thing…

"_We weren't alone… "_

But she – and whoever had been with her… were gone.

Hotaru Sohma had two windows in her room, one at the front, one at the back. And she had fled.

But what disturbed me more were the footprints on her bedroom floor…

…or rather _paw_ prints…

* * *

**I'd just like to say thank you to all those who are reading "The Melting snow", and I hope you all stick around! You may be puzzled about Hotaru's sudden change of Character, and feel free to put your theories in the review section, but its all part of the "big picture", or whatever. **

**Also, I have decided to link my two fan-fictions together (the Melting Snow and "outcast" (that's what it's called at the moment)), so please read my next fan-fic when I start posting it.**

**Thanks again for all those who have reviewed and please carry on. I'd like to know what all the people out there think of my writing. Lol.**

**The next chapter will be up soon.**


	9. Chapter 8: Meeting with the Gods

Hotaru Sohma

"So you came on your own free will, Hotaru?"

"Yes, Akito."

I looked at him from where I was, on the windowsill, having just climbed in undetected by his household staff. He was smirking as he rose, ready to begin that dance that I had seen the "master" perform with his "subjects".

Only I was determined not to be led in this dance.

So I leaped up, and we began circling each other.

"So I take it that you are hear to ask… no to _beg_ me to let you keep your pitiful memories of this family and the curse, aren't you?"

I looked at that irritating smirk that lay on Akito's face and wished I could get rid of it; It was beginning to get on my nerves.

Instead I broke formation and took a step forward, causing Akito to take a slight step back. I was terrified of being in the presence of the Sohma's "master", but I knew that would never help my cause; the reason why I was here.

So I closed my eyes as I answered his question, knowing there was no time for formalities, no time even to say much, as someone would find me here eventually, and I needed to get out of here remembering…

"No Akito, I'm not."

"So you _want_ to lose your memories, is that it? You want to forget this hideous curse and all those under it? You want to return to that blissful _ignorant_ life you led before? You want to forget that dreadful day, ten years ago, when my pet showed his true self to all your friends, and yourself? Is that what you came here for?

How could he know about that day? How could he have known about then, and kept it from the rest of his family, and stopped them erasing my memories… unless he had another reason…

"You want to waste that chance your mother sacrificed herself for…?"

I froze while circling then, in shock and Akito moved forward, so that I could feel his breath on my ear as he carried on at a whisper.

But what could he mean, When I told mother, she started getting ready, straight away! I didn't see her leave the house… I didn't, she couldn't have said anything to anyone…

"…She came to me as soon the incident happened, to find out the truth… just like you are at the moment…"

What? It can't be… Mother hated that house even more than I had feared it… she'd hated it when we sneaked in to play…

"… She worked here Hotaru… she saw what had happened… she saw you run… as did I…"

But Mother worked in the one of the offices down town… that's what she had told me…

"…She knew what I would do, and so offered herself to the Sohma's… even though she wasn't one herself… just to keep an unworthy child like you free with her memories… those dirty memories of the rat-boy and the bond…"

But… but we had run… my mother and I… we had run so far away… and they had never found us… We never saw any of them…

I didn't know anymore whether my thoughts were spoken out loud… or screamed in my head… either way, he knew what I was thinking…

"… Hotaru, you still don't understand do you…?" I felt the dance start up again, the rhythm moving faster, as my thoughts flew away, and I forgot why I was here… why I had come here to challenge the head… why I had wanted to lead this… to break free from his iron grasp… "… You were never found because _I didn't want you to be found_!"

"W… what!?"

I couldn't understand, couldn't comprehend why I had been _let_ to keep my memories… It was like a sick joke.

"You heard me correctly, Hotaru, you know you did…" He moved closer as he whispered threateningly in my ear… into my soul. "It was _**me**_ who told your pitiful mother where to hide you, it was _**me**_ who didn't order a mass search for the children, who said that only those children were there, that I only saw them, and it was _**me**_ who let you return here, to go to that school, and to find out the truth on what had happened that day… so I could finally complete my mission, while pretending to be the 'good guy'…"

I was terrified. Even when the doors slammed open and Yuki and that Doctor rushed in, and pulled Akito off me, before flinching back from his touch, I realised what was happening, who this person really was…

…and who he was to that child…

… Who _I_ had been to that child…

… The one who I had stayed with during my 'escape'…

… He had sent me to be a playmate to her…

… A friend…

… A companion…

… A Jailor…

… That was the truth of it…

… The complete and utter truth of it…

**But I knew one thing for certain.**

That he was frightened.

That was why he had sent us over there, so she wouldn't escape.

And I knew then what I would have to do…

… To save Yuki-san from his nightmares…

… To save my mother from bearing the guilt I had brought around…

… And to save myself, from being frozen…

…But why was there blood on my cheek…?

… And why was darkness spreading through my mind…?

…And why was I falling--…

**AN: Thank you all who are reading my story, and reviewing, I really appreciate all your comments, and it makes me motivated to keep writing.**

**However, the Melting snow is drawing to an end, with only maybe one or two chapters and an epilogue left…**

**However, I really want to write a sequel to this, so please say If you want to find out why all these mysterious ties and references to "the girl" are about, and if you want a sequel.**

**Thank you yet again…**

**Kaytii/**


	10. Chapter 9: The truth

**AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a few days; I've got exams next week so I've just been writing between revision.**

**Please stick around though – I'm going to keep writing**

**Kaytii/**

Hotaru Sohma

"Will she be okay Hatori?"

As voices drew near I could feel my brain drawing my out of my unconscious state, scrambling to recognise the voices I was hearing.

"She'll be fine. I believe it was shock at what happened and general exhaustion that made her collapse, rather than the force of the blow. Akito-sama was weaker today, due to one of his 'temperatures', and hadn't eaten yet."

"Hatori, that still doesn't mean that he couldn't have hit her hard though, _I_ know that better than anyone."

"Maybe so Yuki, but I don't think he _needed_ to hit her hard. I think in this instance, whatever he said to her before we arrived must have terrified her so much, nothing more was needed."

The doctor's cold, analytical voice that had come so close to the truth snapped me out of my slumber, as I began to panic. Had Akito told him what was going on? Or had he arranged for my memories – all of them – to be erased?

"But Hatori… he doesn't know her does he? And… he hasn't ordered her memories to be erased; so what did he say?"

"Nothing… He never does… unless he is commanding us…"

"And did he command you to do anything?"

"Just to keep her here; to lock the doors and windows to make sure she doesn't escape. But if the doors are locked, then he can't get in either – isn't that for the best?"

"…maybe…"

As the voices entered the room I closed my eyes again, scared that if they could see me awake, they would be able to see into my fear and my encounter with the head.

"Are you awake yet Hotaru-san?" The doctor's voice was strange, it wasn't kind… but it wasn't cruel, either. It was cautious I decided finally as I opened y eyes slowly again, and looked at the two Sohma's again.

"… yes, thank you… How long have I been passed out for?"

"You've been… asleep for only for a few hours, Hotaru-san." This time it was Yuki who spoke, his eyes full of sympathy… no, not sympathy… but _empathy_ for me. I realised then that he knew exactly how I felt when I was in that room, and had lived through that scene with me, there, watching over me… terrified.

"Thank you Yuki-san."

He looked at me for a moment before nodding at me slightly, telling me that he knew what I was talking about, and accepting my thanks.

"Hatori-san?"

I addressed the Doctor for the first time, wanting him to understand… and to help me…

"I… I'd like to apologise to you… for all the… inconvenience that I've caused you, I'm sorry."

"Hotaru-san," He looked up, started, obviously not imagining that would be what I would say. "Let me say this; you shouldn't have gone to see Akito-"

"Hatori," I felt my anger flare up as he spoke, and at the words he said. "You would have taken me there anyway, what is the difference?"

"_You would have been protected_."

"How much can you stop your head of Family? You "insiders" follow his law more closely than anyone else."

I glared at the Doctor for a moment as he composed himself.

"He's _your_ head of family as well, Hotaru-san." He replied gently at my protesting, smiling sadly at memories I could not begin to comprehend. It created a newfound respect for him, even though I knew he was dangerous.

"…I know, even though I wish it were not so…"

I had to tell the truth, I couldn't remember how to lie, and more importantly, I didn't _want _to, either. I just wanted to leave this place again, run back to my previous life; that slightly happier time before all this happened.

"We have taken too much of your time Hotaru-san, maybe we should leave you for a while." As he said that both he and Yuki withdrew from the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

But only one thought trail stayed with me.

… I had never been free…

… All this time, priding my freedom of memories and my safety from the Sohma's above all other necessities…

… And it was an illusion…

… I had never been safe…

… I had always been under the powerful Sohma wing, never being allowed to stray from their grasp…

… Even though I had believed it so…

… If that Akito was telling the truth, which I believed he was, then I was a mere tool in his plans, just like all of his "insiders"…

…What use was I in this world other than to be moved around like a pawn on the chessboard of the world…?

… What use was I to anyone…?

… What purpose did I have in this pitiful life…?

… Couldn't I just break free from this curse of a life and di--…?

"Now why would you want to do that, girl?" A cruel, twisted voice whispered to me from the shadows, the dark, empty shadows.

**AN#2: Sorry again for the length of this instalment and I'd like to thank all who have been reading my works yet again.**

**Please carry on waiting for more**

**Kaytii/**


	11. Chapter 10: Memories

**AN#0.5: The first set of Italics are a little reminder of the previous chapter, and the second set are a flashback, the true origin of which will be released in the (unnamed?) sequel.**

**Please enjoy**

**Kaytii/**

… _What use was I to anyone…?_

… _What purpose did I have in this pitiful life…?_

… _Couldn't I just break free from this curse of a life and di--…?_

"_Now why would you want to do that, girl?" A cruel, twisted voice whispered to me from the shadows, the dark, empty shadows._

My head snapped up instantly and saw a figure lurking in the alcove behind me.

"H…how long have you been there?" I couldn't help stuttering, I was still in shock that someone, _he_ was there, and had got there without anyone knowing.

"Long enough…" He trailed off, as if telling me the truth was not worth his precious time.

That made me angry.

How could he just say stuff like that, _and mean it?_

"What do you want?" I didn't know how to keep him calm… or sane, so I just spoke softly, with no emotion in my voice, so that my fear wouldn't be betrayed.

As he walked out of the alcove and crouched next to my bed, I twisted round violently to see his smirk there, on his face.

"Why, Hotaru, I'm here to finish our conversation…"

"What?"

Why was he saying all this?

Why couldn't he just spit out what he wanted to say, rather than talking in bloody riddles all of the time?

"I _said_ that I'm here to finish our conversation, after all, you came here for a reason, didn't you?"

Of course I came here to tell him something… but what? There was… an animal in my room… a big dog? A _talking_ dog…?

"_Onee-san, why do they keep you inside all the time?"_

"_Why, little firefly?" She always addressed me like that, telling me that saying our names out loud was not a good thing to do, with all the scary tattooed people around. "Because they are frightened of me."_

"_Why are they frightened of you though Onee-san? You aren't scary."_

_She smiled sadly down at me, the twinkle in her eyes long gone._

"_You must understand, firefly, that I am dangerous, not only to the tattooed people, but also to the outside world. I could kill someone like _that_…"_

_As she clicked her fingers her eyes narrowed and closed, her face full of rage and destruction. I was only little, and scared, but even then I knew she was in pain…_

"_Onee-san…" I reached out gently and put my tiny hand on her shoulder. "That's not your fault. You do know that don't you. You wouldn't be like this if they let you out of here, and be with other humans, you'd be calm, and wouldn't hurt anyone."_

"_How can you be so sure that I'm not a killer?"_

"_How can _you_ be sure that you are one? They haven't told you, they don't speak our language. Why are you so sure?"_

"_It was a long time ago, firefly, before you came here. I have lived here most my life, so I was told, left here by my mother when she found out what I was. I was only young, seven or eight, when the head of the Sohma's, our family, came to visit me for the first and only time, when she was first told about me."_

"_Are you talking about Akito-sama? But Akito's a boy!"_

"_No, the creator is a girl, as the original was. Most people only talk about the beginning of the zodiac tale, how the Creator ordered a banquet for all her animals, and how they came, and how the zodiac was formed. A few know about the trick that the rat played on the cat, and how the cat was left out of the banquet, meaning that the cat is looked down on by the other zodiac members. But there was a deeper secret, firefly, a secret that only the cursed may ever remember; like that boy you say transform. There was another part to that story, firefly, and only the cursed creator truly knows about it now, having seen the proof of it…"_

"_So… what happened? Why is there a secret?"_

"_You don't need to know, firefly, no… don't argue." She saw my protesting and shushed me. "But I can tell you this; I feel the end running through my veins, and I now know that it will all be over soon."_

"_How will it happen?"_

"_One day you will be brought back to the "god" of the zodiacs home, and will meet with her, but you won't remember why you wanted to go there. Just remember this, and tell the creator it, can you promise me that firefly? It is the only way I can get my revenge on her for doing this to me, please, firefly…"_

_How could I say "no"? She was my only friend now, and I was her first ever friend, the first person to show her warmth and love. We relied on each other to keep each other sane. How could I deny her a mere request to pass on a message, if I was going to be forced away from her life by that cruel family to which we belonged?_

"_Onee-san, of course I will. I'll remember, I promise I will!"_

"_I know this won't make sense to you, and it probably never will, but the creator will understand, I know she will. Tell her this;"_

_And into my ear she whispered the greatest secret of the zodiac._

"So, tell me…" As my memories awoke in myself I realised who this person was – the creator… and I had to pass on that message. That's what my vision of the dog was – for surely it was a vision, and I was just paranoid hiding her.

I was to tell the "god" of the zodiac – their creator, the message I had been asked to keep safe for six years.

But it would anger him… _her_.

She would get angry, and shout.

And hunt her down again…

… But he was frightened…

… She was expecting me to bring her this message…

… Because she knew I had been with the girl in the mountains…

… The girl she feared because of the true nature of the curse…

… Because she had no control of the curse…

"Yes 'creator'."

I couldn't stop myself from saying that. I didn't know why, it just felt the right thing to say, even though Akito wasn't _my_ creator.

"W… what did you call me? TELL ME!"

So… I had hit a nerve…

"Why are you so annoyed that I call you your 'true' name?" I had to play along now, I couldn't stop myself, and I needed to get this through to her, even though _I_ myself didn't want to…

… This was the beginning of Onee-san's revenge…

"No one knows what I am. Not even the zodiac member's call me that!"

"And why is that, I wonder?"

And so, in my last vestiges of strength I revealed to Akito that age-old secret that meant that it was coming to an end, and knowing that I would never remember what I had said, or what had happened here again.

But… for once I didn't care about losing my memories. All that effort that I had put into remembering just flowed out of me, away from my soul and left me exhausted, and ready to forget, and live a normal life without all this strangeness, even though I accepted it all, and wanted to… I don't know any more…

… I just wanted to sleep…

…That everlasting, healing sleep…

… But how could I sleep with that shrieking, and the thudding that entered the room…?

… And the people who kept hitting my chest, and trying to wake me…?

… Still, sleep won, and I was glad of it…

… Everything would be fine now…

… Of that I was certain…

**AN: Omigosh, "The Melting snow" is almost over!!! I'm sorry if there are lots of unanswered questions, and you find it frustrating, but never fear, there is a sequel – and all the questions will be answered – I swear!**

**AN#2: Oh – there will be an epilogue added to this chapter, just to wrap up this part of the saga for all my readers.**

**AN#3: I shall be releasing the next part in the Saga soon. I was originally going to call it "Outcast" but I'm not so sure now, I may change it – but if I do, then you all will be the first to know!!!**

**AN#4: So what is the big secret about the zodiac? Only I know. However, I wish to know what your thought are on it, and to see how many people can guess it before it is revealed in the sequel. So please, write your answers in the reviews and I shall look forward to reading them. Please also say if you like my series, as I am grateful to all who have so far, especially "Crystalfeathers" who is adding a lot of reviews to my story. So to the unknown Crystalfeathers, thank you. (Also thanks to all my other reviewers/subscribers.)**

**AN#5: I would also like to apologise for any OOC-ness that may have occurred during the fan-fic, as I'm sure happened, as I was more focussed on the cliff-hangers and content on this rather than character-ness.**

**AN#6: Got to go now, my dad's telling me to revise, grrrrrrrrrrr.**

**Kaytii/**


	12. Epilogue: The Begining of The End

**AN: This is the Epilogue for my story, wow; it's been almost two weeks since I began to write this. It's a relief to finally be able to see the ending, just because so many more ideas are now forming in my mind on how to continue the saga. So please, keep checking my page for the sequel.**

Kaytii/

* * *

… _I just wan__ted to sleep…_

…_That everlasting, healing sleep…_

… _But how could I sleep with that shrieking, and the thudding that entered the room…?_

… _And the people who kept hitting my chest, and trying to wake me…?_

… _Still, sleep won, and I was glad of it…_

… _Everything would be fine now…_

… _Of that I was certain…_

"You gave us quite a scare then Hotaru-san" A grave voice began to speak as my eyes adjusted to the bright lights of a hospital room, before leaving with his clipboard to get some medicine.

A scare? What happened? I only went to sleep…

"Hotaru?" A calm voice dragged me out of my thoughts peacefully, a soothing presence in my mind, to wake me. "You almost died."

He says that as if it were a fact…

Sh*t

He wasn't lying, was he?

But… but…

"W… what happened?" I finally managed to stutter out.

"You don't remember?"

I don't know. Does that mean my memories _weren't _suppressed after all? Or does it mean Hatori hasn't had the chance to do it yet?

"I… I don't know, to be honest. I don't think I really _want_ to remember what happened." I finally decided as my mind sut me off from the events that had happened before I colapsed. "I… I thought… I thought I was going to _die_.... that Akito was going to..."

At that Yuki's face darkened with fear.

"Akito was there? Hatori didn't say… Tell me Hotaru-san, what did Akito do?"

"He…"

He didn't do anything really though, did he? It was me who did the damage, who shattered the "creators" safety net without a second thought, not realising what the consequences for the entire family, and the zodiac would be...

"… No, he didn't do anything Yuki-san… at least not that time. I… I got there first and told him what I needed to."

"What did you tell him Hotaru-san?"

"-Chan" I insisted, tired of all the formalities and pretence that my family lived for, and just wanting to live an _ordinary_ life.

"Hotaru-chan." He agreed, a ghost of a smile lingering upon his face before he looked down.

"I…"

I tried to think about what I had seen, and told Akito, but I couldn't remember anything about it… it was just _gone_.

"I don't remember, Yuki-kun… It's gone, all of it. I mean… I can remember _being_ there, and talking to him… but it's like watching a movie with the mute button on – I can't remember what was said… Has… has Hatori been here?"

"Not on his own. Anyway, Akito has been taking up most of his time since your latest encounter with him… you really are okay, aren't you?"

His deep concern touched me, and I began to wonder what his childhood must have been like to make him this quiet, delicate creature.

"Yeah…" I tried to sit up properly, but then I got head rush and collapsed down again, laughing dizzily. "Erm… Yuki-kun, can you help me up please?"

"Sure," He grinned as he helped me out of the bed, all my limbs seizing up on me for a few seconds before my brain recognising them and figuring out how to move them. "Where do you wish to go?"

"That garden. The one where you found me that time." I didn't know why I wanted to go there; it just seemed like the right place to be."

And it was.

The calm tranquillity of the gardens brought a closure to all that had happened, a sense of peace and wonder as I sat with Yuki and watched the waterfall thunder down into the pond.

"Yuki-kun, I … I… I'd like to say…"

A howl from the mountains sounded throughout the Sohma property at that instant…

***

In the middle of teasing his editor Shigure heard the howl, and froze, a feeling of comradeship he had not heard in a long time stirring in him, as well as the distrust of meeting a reformed enemy and not knowing what to expect.

***

All over the Sohma estate, the remaining zodiac members felt a stirring in their spirits, a strange feeling of love...

...and hate...

...comradeship...

...and betrayal…

...new life…

...and the ultimate sacrifice…

***

Standing next to Yuki we both felt dread... and anticipation as my memories came flooding back to me... again, and we both knew, in that instant, what had happened, what was happening... and what was to happen...

... the rebirth...

... the life...

... and the end, the final ending...

_...and it was only just begining..._

***

...In the darkest corner of the estate stood Akito, alone, her face thunderous as she realised what had happened, that her last child had broken free of her decree, and would be returning for the others...

* * *

**AN: Thank you to all who have read "The Melting snow". I really can't believe it's all over now, but keep waiting, the sequel to this will be out soon, just check my homepage to see all my other stories, and what my next stories will be like. I may also put a preview of the next story there for you all.**

**For now, goodbye**

**Kaytii/**


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